With a master’s degree and experience as a lecturer in her home country, she left behind her family, career and support system to start a new life in Malaysia.
PETALING JAYA: A foreign-born mother who has spent more than a decade building her life in Malaysia – marrying a Malaysian and raising a Malaysian daughter – says she continues to live with a fear many never face: the possibility of being separated from her child.
The woman, who requested anonymity, arrived in Malaysia in 2012 after marrying her Malaysian husband. Two years later, she gave birth to a daughter who is now a citizen.
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With a master’s degree and experience as a lecturer in her home country, she left behind her family, career and support system to start a new life in Malaysia.
“It was difficult raising a child without the support of my own family,” she said. She said like many foreign spouses, she became financially dependent on her husband, not only for household income but also for her immigration status.
She added that her long-term social visit pass required periodic renewal, with her husband’s presence needed each time.
She also said even while raising a Malaysian child, she was frequently reminded she remained a foreigner.
“Simple family outings meant paying higher foreigner rates at tourist attractions, despite being the wife of a Malaysian and the mother of a Malaysian child.”
The woman said her situation changed after her divorce, adding that although granted custody of her daughter, her immigration status no longer allowed her to work.
“Every job interview ended the same way. Once employers saw that my visa prohibited employment, the opportunity disappeared.
“As a mother, there is no greater pain than wanting to provide for your child but being prevented from doing so.” She added that without financial support from her former husband, she has raised her daughter alone. Unable to work legally, she said even basic living costs have become harder to manage.
“Every trip to school, medical appointments and daily necessities become more expensive.
“The added costs are daily reminders of how difficult it is to care for the child who depends on me.”
She also said despite her qualifications, she remains locked out of formal employment, adding that financial strain eventually forced her to withdraw her daughter from after-school religious classes.
“As a mother, few things are more painful than watching your child miss out because you cannot provide.”
She said her challenges extend beyond work, adding that in February, she faced difficulties opening a bank account for her daughter, as required by the school.
She also said despite submitting custody papers, a divorce certificate and a valid visa, she was not accepted as her daughter’s sponsor.
“In that moment, I felt not only rejected as a customer but diminished as a mother.”
However, she said the greatest pressure comes from uncertainty over her right to remain in Malaysia.
She said her residency depends on having a sponsor, meaning any change beyond her control could jeopardise her ability to stay with her daughter.
“Living with the constant fear that circumstances beyond my control could separate me from my daughter is an emotional burden that no parent should carry.“
She also said finding a sponsor is difficult, requiring personal financial documents and physical presence at immigration appointments. As a result, her future often depends on the willingness of others.
She added that the uncertainty has affected her daughter, now 12, who understands her mother’s stay in Malaysia is not guaranteed.
“No child should have to live with the fear of losing the parent who raises and protects them every day.“ The woman said unlike many families, they cannot plan long-term, as each visa renewal brings renewed uncertainty.
“Everything we have built – my daughter’s education, our home, our stability and our future – could be affected by my immigration status.”
She said although she has built a life in Malaysia and raised her daughter in accordance with Islamic values, she admits there are moments she feels she does not fully belong.
“There are moments when it feels my worth is measured not by my character or contribution, but by the immigration status on my documents.”
She expressed hope that policymakers would recognise foreign spouses not as immigration cases but as parents raising Malaysian children.
She also called for stronger protections for foreign spouses facing domestic violence, saying no parent should have to choose between leaving abuse and risking separation from their child.
“For years, I lived with a fear that if I left an abusive marriage, I could lose my visa and be forced to leave Malaysia – separated from my daughter.”
She urged the government to strengthen safeguards for victims of domestic violence whose immigration status depends on a Malaysian spouse, including allowing continued residency or independent work rights when abuse is proven.
She also called for practical support for foreign spouses who become single parents through divorce, abuse or bereavement, including temporary assistance, legal aid, counselling and flexible employment opportunities.
“Such support is not about dependency. It is about dignity and the ability to rebuild.
“Protecting victims of domestic violence also protects children from family separation and ensures they can remain with the parent who has raised them.”
She said above all, she hopes her daughter could grow up free from fear and secure in the knowledge that their family would not be separated by circumstances beyond her control.
